I heard you were the “wise one”. I was just wondering about a little problem I have. I’m addicted to caffeine, and I’m asking you about it because you’ve come across many people with similar problems.
Whatever you put in your coffee also makes it hard for me to urinate. Why is that? Why does it also make me do dumbfounded and spaced out? I only drink coffee because it’s the in thing and I want to be popular. Is there something wrong with that? Can you introduce me to people that are like me?
Puzzled but clueless in the Annex
Dear Puzzled and Clueless. I do have a cure fore you. It’s a baseball club called the Dooney’s 42s, which gets together each May and meets until everyone one the club except Anthony is both popular at parties and cured of their urinary tract difficulties. (Other personal problems may persist, but they’re not related to drinking coffee). Your other alternative is to give up being a montooney and stop whining about things that aren’t very important.