Friday, April 19, 2019

a news service

Graz Answers a Christmas Letter

Dear Graz,

For 50 years my 74 year old mother used to go to Marks and Spencers to buy the Christmas pudding they sold (this was in the days when we’d have 14 to dinner). In addition to the pudding, for which she makes rum sauce and some sort of cream that can stand alone, we are subjected to butter tarts (with raisins), mincemeat tarts (with raisins) and if she’s really in the mood she’ll make a raisin pie. (Did I mention that I hate raisins and that on one of my birthdays — in June — they pulled out left over Christmas cake (not to be confused with Christmas pudding) that was filled with raisins (just like Christmas pudding) because they said they thought I loved raisins.

Anyway, not to get too distracted, in order to keep my 74 year old mother, who is half blind and very deaf but still continues to practice her craft as a chiropractor (can you imagine the patients face down on the bench saying "a little more to the left") , happy, I need to find a Christmas pudding. I’ve done my research on the Internet and found nothing.

Now I know that Christmas pudding isn’t likely on your menu, but I do trust that you will have the resources to solve my problem as you so ably solve the problems of the world. we are grateful.

Signed, just trying to keep a lady happy (you know how it is!)

P.S. Are you sure you want to keep up with your role as a therapist? (remember I’m sane, most of your customers are not.)

Graz answers

Dear Just Trying…

Ah, everybody’s a writer…Anyway, I passed this one on to an Anglo associate of mine. He reminded me that proper Italians deal with pudding problems by fitting them with cement overshoes and storing them at the bottom of the river until they’re ripe, so I’m not going to be much help except to point you in the direction of Pusateri’s at Avenue Rd and Lawrence.

As for your "P.S." Sanity is a relative concept. Everyone needs therapy. Apparently you need raisin therapy.

p.s. My English friends tell me that the best buttertarts have currants instead of raisins

Post tags:
Avatar

Graziano Marchese

More from Graziano Marchese: