September 20, 2001
So, I’ve seen you around Bloor Street, and you look like a knowledgeable and adult sort of guy, so maybe you can help me. You, see, my Wiccan coven recently decided that everyone in it had to be, um, free of extraneous skin, and I still have flaps. So one night, they kind of formed an informal circle , and one of the members who works as a short-order cook downtown did me. It healed up okay, but ever since then, I’ve been having self-esteem problems, if you catch my drift. I sent in a letter to Oprah, but she didn’t call back. I may be Wiccan, and I am a little full-figured, but I’m not gross. Do it think it really makes any difference and if so, what is the difference? Are you for flaps, or against them. And do you know a plastic surgeon who can put mine back on? I’ve been carrying it in my wallet, next to the dead ferret everyone in our coven has to keep on or near their person.
Yrs, Little Anthony
Go to McDonalds and ask them. They’ll know what to do.