World Youth Day

World Youth Day: A papal love-in that showed the world that Catholicism has taken an evangelical and creepy turn for the worse, probably as a response to trying to survive Napoleon and the church’s innumerable sex scandals. His Holiness has no understanding of Western mating habits or he would have realized that putting tens of thousands of sex-deprived seventeen year olds together in an open field without condoms would lead to more immaculate conceptions than a Beijing Saturday night—and as low a percentage of orgasms. The sea of young, eager, and beatific faces seen on television must have reminded a few ex-Catholics why they left the faith in the first place. David Banerjee

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