Mosquito and snow-befouled city located on a defunct canal system thought to lead in the direction of Washington, D.C. In the 1960s and 1970s Ottawa was the Brazilia of the northern hemisphere, but now more resembles Rio. Current population mainly taken up by poultry breeding schemes aimed at perfecting an all-white-meat chicken, and furious paper-shuffling. Current all-party federal government plans are aimed at turning Ottawa into a ghost town by 2020.

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