With suspicions growing inside Quebec that French Canadians weren’t getting enough jobs as federal civil servants, the Canadian government designated Canada a bilingual and bicultural nation in 1971 after an eight year Royal Commission. The Commission conducted its deliberations in both French and English, which limited membership to bilingual Anglos living within a ten mile radius of Ottawa and, in its last years, to friends of Pierre Trudeau or his philosopher corps. Qu‚b‚cois radicals branded the Royal Commission’s report Anglophone window dressing while they filled out their civil service job applications. Western Canadians were infuriated because they could only understand half of what was being said and they assumed, with a degree of justification, that the lucrative stuff was being said in French by and to Quebec. Thirty years later bilingualism has given the Quebecois 90 percent of federal civil service jobs, and Canadians are now regularly treated to the comedy of Anglo politicians choking the airwaves with the most dreadful pidgin French spoken anywhere on the planet. To stuff a gag into the mouths of other (instantly whining) ethnicities, Trudeau appointed a minister for multiculturalism in 1972, even though no official policy was adopted until 1987. Biculturalism was effectively replaced by multiculturalism by the early 1980s except in the minds of Alberta’s rednecks and Quebec’s separatists, who each began Long March-style campaigns to replace the linguistic elements of both bi and multi culturalism with Texas Oilman Chinook and near-French commercial joual, respectively, and to supplant culture of any kind with the life-style trinkets of laissez-faire capitalism. Other constituencies in the country remain more tolerant and generous, notwithstanding the Reform Party and its successors.

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