Brian Fawcett is a Toronto-based writer.

Dragons

By Brian Fawcett / 2011 November 1
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  The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation’s way of shamelessly pressing it’s lips to the hindquarters of the Zeitgeist, where cutthroat business dorks are the culture heroes the mass media offers up for envy and emulation. CBC television’s Dragon’s Den is a Japanese-born format now running in 18 countries. The Canadian version features super-aggressive meathead Kevin O’Leary…

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RIM

By Brian Fawcett / 2011 October 30
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Formerly the Waterloo, Ontario-based Research in Motion, which parlayed an innovative and speedy secure e-mail system into the Blackberry smartphone empire. Now that technology advances have passed the Blackberry, RIM is going to have to do something inspiring to keep the RIM acronym from meaning Retrograde Insolvent Moneyloser.

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Raffi Cavoukian

By Brian Fawcett / 2011 October 30
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Canadian-based “Child honouring” children’s entertainer, platitude purveyor, and the author of the song “Baby Beluga”, which has the unique ability to turn otherwise caring parents against their own children after the 200th repetition. Cavoukian twitters his deep thoughts 20 times a day even though he’s never had a deep thought.

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Robert Pickton

By Brian Fawcett / 2011 October 30
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No one wants any more information about Robert Pickton, who got to murder as many as 49 women and dispose of their bodies in a wood-chipper before he was caught. His story is synonymous with police racism, police bungling, and pigs being omnivorou.

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Hilary Weston

By Brian Fawcett / 2011 October 26
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Irish-born former fashion model and trophy wife of Canada’s second richest man, Galen Weston. Tall, patrician and elegant, she has served as Ontario’s Lieutenant-Governor with distinction—and without spending a whole lot of time in the country.  She has also served on the boards of innumerable corporations and charities, recently making herself a major cultural force…

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Justin Trudeau

By Brian Fawcett / 2011 October 26
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Eldest son (now reaching his 40s) of Pierre Trudeau, current Liberal MP for Montreal riding of Papineau, which happens to be the smallest federal riding in the country, with the lowest average family income. He has his father’s charisma and oratorical skills, along with some of his political instincts and courage. But it isn’t yet…

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Andrea Horwath

By Brian Fawcett / 2011 October 25
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Hamilton born and raised MPP and current Ontario NDP leader. Horwath gained the leadership of the Ontario NDP by deploying the suicidal slogan of “We will not adapt!” She then parlayed her approachable personality and single-parent identity into serious gains in the 2011 Ontario provincial election, mainly because her opponents, Liberal Premier Dalton McGuinty resembled…

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Lisa Raitt

By Brian Fawcett / 2011 October 25
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Harper Government’s loose-tongued Labour minister, former CEO of Toronto Port Authority and slayer of former Conservative loose cannon MP Garth Turner, who was  defenestrated from the party for periodically telling the truth about Harper’s intentions. Aside from calling her cabinet colleagues morons and thinking that nuclear isotopes are “sexy” while an aide’s tape recorder was…

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Tim Hudak

By Brian Fawcett / 2011 October 25
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Ontario Conservative Leader who blew a 15 percentage point lead in the 2011 Ontario provincial election by doing impersonations of Ronald Reagan over Green energy policy—the one plank in the incumbent Liberal platform the public was behind—and by doggedly staying on message throughout the campaign even though the only message his brain-trust could come up…

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Michael Ignatieff

By Brian Fawcett / 2011 October 22
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Late, constantly grimacing leader of the Federal Liberals who presided over the 2010 election defeat by the Harper Conservatives and the party’s replacement as official opposition by the late Jack Layton and his herd of not necessarily French-speaking Quebecois cats, most of whom were recruited while dead drunk in the Student Union building at Carleton…

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