Generals (retired)

After Lewis MacKenzie became a media star by accomplishing absolutely nothing as head of UN peacekeeping forces in Bosnia in the early 1990s, the goal of Canadian military personnel changed from “serve and protect” to “screw up outside the country but give first rate interviews to CNN, Retire immediately and sign a book deal, become a television commentator whenever two or more olive-garbed human beings begin to hack at or shoot one another, and run for parliament under the banner of most opportunistic political party.” Due to some miscalculations on the part of MacKenzie’s advisors, Canadian civilians have been spared from having the general conduct his moral renaissance from the floor of the House of Commons.

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