Premiers, Prime Ministers And First Ministers
During periods of sanity, elected provincial leaders call themselves Premiers, leaving the Prime Minister designation to the elected federal leader. In recent years, however, depending on the degree of provincial egomania and hostility, some Premiers have taken to annoying Ottawa by designating themselves Prime Ministers. Ottawa responds by dragooning all the Premiers to Ottawa for time-wasting protocol festivals and transfer payment cutback announcements. During these conferences everyone carefully uses the term First Ministers, although during planning sessions the Premiers and Prime Minister refer to one another as Those Assholes, which is closer to the way voters regard them while they’re playing these silly games.