Monday, December 17, 2018

a news service

Dictionary entries are filed alphabetically: choose a letter to view entries.
The dictionary contains 611 entries.


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Easter

They used to let the kids out of school in the melting snow, and some Christians went around feeling gloomy–first because Christ was dead, and second because the Church was trying to convince everybody that he’d come back once, and was going to do it again so he could kill everyone who didn’t co-operate with the Churches program for a new roof, etc… Now Easter has something to do with egg-laying bunnies and support for the sugar confection industry. Not clear whether this is a cultural advance or setback.

Eaton Boys

Rich boys who, after bringing the family department store chain to the brink of bankruptcy, got caught bonusing themselves for their management skills just a few weeks before they tried to stiff the company’s creditors and employees. When they got caught and were forced to return the bonuses (as opposed to being charged, convicted and sentenced the way normal people would for the same sort of stunt) the Eaton boys were lauded for their breeding and noblesse oblige.. It’s probably worth noting that despite their noble breeding and behavior, creditors got stiffed, the employees lost their jobs, and when the shit hit the fan, the Eaton Boys were at the cottage.

Economic Brain Trusts

1.) Probably a contradiction in terms, given their dismal track record for predicting the way the Canadian economy is going to go. 2) Well-heeled propaganda agencies and media lobbies set up to pressure governments and misinform the public to ensure that the rich, powerful and privileged remain (or lately, become more) rich, powerful and privileged. 3.) If left-of-centre, college professors and trade union organizers with unlimited faculty photocopy privileges and downtown mailboxes. See APEC, Board of Trade, Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives, C.D. Howe Institute, The Conference Board of Canada, The Fraser Institute.

Economic Charter

Ostensibly, the 1991 attempt by Brian Mulroney to 1.) enshrine principle of no taxation for the corporate sector; 2.) ensure that the right to excessive real estate and corporate profits supercede all other rights, and 3.) ship more of Ottawa’s rotten federal bananas to naively eager-for-power provincial governments. For reasons unknown, it keeps bobbing to the surface like a frog in a sewer.

Economic Policy

A term that is never truthfully preceded by the word “coherent”, and only very, very rarely by the words “sensible” or “sensitive”, either in Canada or elsewhere.

Economic Stability

Secure loans and other forms of public debt for the offshore lending sector and their bond-raters

Edmonton

Official if not actual Alberta provincial capital and the sole site of in-province protests against the Alberta government’s recent econopolitical experiments in refugee creation and culture-zapping. The attempts of Peter Pocklington and the brothers Gurmazian to have the city’s public assets deeded to them through government grants, tax giveaways and outright gifts have been mostly successful, but they have created a backlash. Edmonton’s right wing media alumni occupy key positions across the, er, Thompson and Hollinger newspaper chains.

Educational Television

Aside from being an oxymoron, Educational Television in Canada was once a series of under-funded provincial television semi-networks that offered under-produced programming to elementary and high school teachers too lazy to engage students on their own. For a few years Educational Television looked like it would become the vehicle for a nasty outbreak of long-distance education, but it is now in the process of being closed down and sold off on the grounds that it has been made superfluous by mostly U.S.-based cable network specialty channels. The disappearance of Canada’s public television networks-however goofy some of them were and whatever the budgetary excuses cited–is ideological. It will likely set the cause of Canadian cultural autonomy back fifty years.

Egoyan, Atom

If he wasn’t little and bespectacled, from downtown Toronto, slightly weird and very WEWAP, he wouldn’t have survived the excruciatingly earnest experimentality of his first films. But like anyone with intelligence who gets to practice a craft, he’s gotten better. Chalk up another one to government subsidies to the arts. See WEWAP

Eliott Lake

Secret radioactive sulfuric acid laced water body created by massive debris from Canadian uranium mines. So why are the elderly being sent there to live on its shores?

Embarassing Canadian Bands

Crash Test Dummies, Möxie Fruvous, Moist, Barenaked Ladies. Historically, Glass Tiger, Loverboy, Rush, and any group (musical or not) associated with Burton Cummings.

Emerson, David

Alberta-trained ex-CEO of B.C. lumber giant Canfor, who joined the federal Liberals to negotiate an end to U.S. softwood lumber tariffs on behalf of the mostly foreign-owned forestry corporations chewing on Canada’s boreal forests. Emerson cheerfully crossed the floor of parliament to join the Harper conservatives so he could continue his work, mumbling “who? wha?” in genuine bewilderment when voters in his riding didn’t like him switching loyalties.

Enright, Michael

Peter Gzowski’s replacement at the CBC. Enright was a journalist and a public intellectual with strong values and a temper. Gzowski had a temper, according to those who worked for him. Enright didn’t seem to have that or much else once he was overexposed and overworked. He retired to the Sunday morning radio show he began with, and which becomes progressively less interesting as the years pass.

Entertainment Industry

The controlling sector for public mass communications in Canada, including, increasingly, what passes for newsgathering and dissemination. The entertainment industry, in turn, is controlled by creatures called “public relations directors”, who see the new world in terms of infotainment, infomercials, and other artificial moment where numbed minds meet the Mall. We are facing, in other words, the eradication of editors, editorial discrimination, and editorial independence. It seems propitious, at this point, to point out that the Canadian entertainment industry is not headquartered within Canada’s borders, despite all those nationally televised testimonials at media galas.

Entrepreneurs

Economic enter-and-take enthusiasts, popularized as culture heroes during the Reagan/Thatcher revolution and now, generally, Neodarwinism’s darlings and the supposed answer to everything that isn’t producing profits within the global economy. Today’s governments and corporations use entrepreneurs the way Adolf Hitler used his storm troopers: –heavily dosed with propaganda, dazzled with showy medals and perks, and then sacrificed in reverse order to their rank, power and utility to the looniest ideas of the Reich when things don’t go as planned. The wisdom of making opportunism a societal virtue is open to serious question.

Erickson, Arthur

Semi-retired Vancouver architect who tried to reclaim modern architecture in Canada from commercial mediocrity and engineering single-mindedness. He failed, but it was an interesting failure. Erickson is famous for his inattention to detail, particularly when it involved glass canopies. Rumours about Erickson are almost never true, despite being entertaining and quite possibly self-generated.

Eskimos

a.Obsolete shorthand for native tribes pushed beyond the treeline by 17th and 18th century imperial migrations of Cree and Dogrib Indian militias. b.)Western Inuit who haven’t been driven to suicide by white cultural entrepreneurs trying to correct them in the Inuit language, which they don’t speak. c.) Edmonton football team in the Confused Football League.

Euthanasia

Not the human species’ greatest idea, but given world population levels, a better one than being born-again every time you go bankrupt or suffer a career setback. A couple of years ago dying B.C. resident Sue Rodriguez, suffering from ALS, went to the Canadian Supreme Court seeking a ruling in favour of assisted suicide. Instead she received a theological dissertation officially denying her permission, in the name of “the sacredness of life”, to experience a death that had a few shreds of dignity. Not to suggest that life isn’t sacred in this country, but there are some mornings when it looks like the ancient Greeks, who muttered “Best of all not to have been born”, got it right. The courts telling people like Sue Rodriguez to have a nice day qualifes as what the Greeks called “hubris”, or excessive pride in one’s understanding of things.

Eves, Ernie

Defeated Ontario Premier. His Brylcreem hairdo and Paul Lynde lisp are enough to make you wonder where he came from and who he was hanging out with. His political assets are the leaders of the parties opposing him, the fact that he isn’t Mike Harris, and Isobel Bassett. There’s something likable and trustworthy about this guy, but how far can people trust a man who wants to govern a province with a political party that doesn’t want to govern anything, wants to sell off Ontario’s public assets at deep discounts, and all too obviously enjoys beating up on the poor? Not enough for Ontario’s voters to allow him to continue Harris’ Common Sense Revolution.

Ewen, Paterson

Canada’s greatest visual artist and power tool enthusiast.

Expatriate Americans

A startling percentage of Canada’s cultural entrepreneurs and officials are expatriate Americans who arrived in Canada seeking sanctuary from the Vietnam War and other asshole American behaviors. Nationalists tend to whine a lot about the presence of these Americans, who are frequently better citizens than native-born Canadians, most of whom want to live at Disney World.

Expo 67

“Man and His World”, which opened in Montreal in the summer of 1967, was supposed to celebrate Canada’s 100th birthday. Actually marked it the beginning of Montreal’s decline as a Canadian and international centre. This happened partly because French Canadians noticed that the men in the world spoke English, women realized that they didn’t have much of a world to work with, and the offshore Expo visitors recognized that Canada most resembled a plump white rabbit ready for skinning. Montreal’s nine year downhill run as a “world class city” ended in the 1976 Olympics and a river of red ink that rivalled the St. Lawrence in breadth and depth. An accidental side-effect of this red-ink conflagration has been the Olympic Games as we now experience them: a jamboree of corporate logos, steroid, and the total disappearance of amateur athletes. (see [WORLD CLASS]

Expo 86

Trade Fair held in Vancouver, B.C. to celebrate the city’s ascension to “world class” status. After four months of ridiculously expensive nightly fireworks displays, promises of real estate and industrial profits and an entrepreneurial nirvana, the fair closed without coming through on a single one of its promises. Most of the site ended up in the hands of offshore real estate warlords after a cleanup of toxins that cost far more than the government got for the land; the B.C. economy (once the fog of prosperity created by injections of capital brought in from immigrant entrepreneurs and the drug trade lifts) is a third world-type shambles; most of Vancouver’s serious real estate is owned by Hong Kong interests; and the only new jobs the fair produced involved mopping up the red ink.

Exports

The economic indicator by which, officially and erroneously, we judge the health of the economy. In a resource-based economy, exports are simply a measure of how fast the resources are being sucked out. And incidentally, Canada would be a net importer without the Auto Pact. Doesn’t that make you suspicious? Given that the U.S. is either exploiting us or ordering us around in literally every other sector of the economy and political/cultural arena, why are we being allowed to get our yah-yahs with the Auto Pact?