British Columbia premier, 2001-2011. Campbell is a former federal Liberal Cabinet Minister’s gofer, real estate slick for Marathon Realty, and mayor of Vancouver, all of which identities he inhabited in various shades of gray and other drab tones. Despite his accomplishments, his most important qualification as B.C. Premier was that he wasn’t a member of the New Democratic Party: Huckleberry Hound could have won a 70 seat majority in B.C. after a decade of NDP bungling. The B.C. Liberal Party consists of Canadian Alliance crazies, Reform Party loyalists, near-dead or senile Social Credit retreads, and a few others with more extreme views and a hatred for the NDP, and Campbell’s signature skill as premier was his ability to manipulate this herd of cats successful while being himself dead drunk. His espousal of the combined sales and federal general sales tasks finally created a sufficient stink for him to resign, although not before selling off most of the province’s assets at a discount, and coining the term “Heartland” to describe the exploited B.C. interior. Stephen Harper appointed him high commissioner to the UK, where he can presumably drink in relative privacy.